A few nights ago I caught up with some close friends, one of them I had not seen for almost a year. The reason I had not seen my friend for such a long while, was as a result of a tragedy that had entered into her life.
That’s the thing about tragedy; more often than not, it comes out of nowhere leaving you little or no time to prepare for it.
While I don’t feel right explaining the details of my friends situation; what I do want to discuss is the enormous amount of respect I have for her and her partner in dealing with this trauma and to contemplate the strength we each have inside of us to deal with situations like this.
I believe that with everything in our lives we have a choice, choose to move on and cope, choose to deal with things the best way we can, choose to try to be strong, or don’t be!
Please don’t misunderstand me here; life is not always easy, horrible things happen, situations are difficult and it is sometimes hard to cope and rise above the traumatic times, what I am referring to however, is our minds and the power we have over our thoughts.
My friend had to cope for the sake of her family, she and her husband chose to cope to keep their lives going. They found that inner strength when every fiber in their bodies wanted to collapse.
As she spoke to me, I could see the pain in her tired eyes still as she recalled the events of the last year, yet through that pain I could see the determination to reclaim her life back, to take those small steps to rebuild.
Rather than wallowing in self-pity there she was slowly rebuilding, finding more strength each day, asking for advice and help and choosing to rise above this.
She is under no false illusions that things are going to be easy, but she is finding the things to be grateful for rather than being bitter.
She is finding and creating moments in which she can laugh, rather than sitting in a room crying.
She is surrounding herself with as much positivity, happiness and love that she can to keep bringing more of that into her life and she is using that to slowly let go of the dark place in which she has lived the last year.
Rather than spend the dinner talking about her ordeal (which I would not have minded in the slightest) she talked about it for a while, then asked about us, she still cares about others and she asks to help feel normal again, to listen and integrate back into the world.
She is amazing, she is strong and I feel we can all learn a lot from people like this.
Difficult situations are exactly that they are difficult! How you deal with them is up to you!